Identify and Briefly Define Each of Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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The Answer is The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end times in the New Testament's Book of Revelation. In the context of relationship psychology, Dr. John Gottman adopted this metaphor to describe four types of negative communication patterns that can predict the end of a relationship. Here are Gottman's Four Horsemen, along with brief definitions:

1. **Criticism**: This involves attacking your partner's character or personality instead of addressing a specific behavior. It often includes blanket statements like "you always" or "you never," which serve to blame and accuse the partner. Criticism is different from a complaint, which would focus on a specific action or situation.

2. **Contempt**: This is a step beyond criticism and involves treating your partner with disrespect, mockery, or sarcasm. It suggests a sense of superiority over the partner and can manifest through name-calling, cynicism, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. Contempt is particularly destructive because it conveys disgust and is the strongest predictor of divorce, according to Gottman's research.

3. **Defensiveness**: This occurs when a person feels attacked and responds in a way that attempts to protect themselves by making excuses or playing the innocent victim. Defensiveness is a way of blaming your partner and not taking responsibility for your part in the conflict. It often escalates the conflict further instead of opening up a way to resolve it.

4. **Stonewalling**: This happens when one partner completely withdraws from the interaction, shutting down dialogue and closing themselves off from their partner. It is a response to the physiological flooding that can occur when discussions become too intense. Stonewalling can appear as tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive or distracting behaviors. It can make the other partner feel ignored or rejected.

Gottman's research suggests that the presence of these four negative communication styles can be highly predictive of a relationship's failure if they are not recognized and addressed. However, he also provides antidotes to these behaviors, encouraging couples to learn and practice healthy communication skills to resolve conflicts and maintain a strong, respectful partnership.

Identify and Briefly Define Each of Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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